a new chapter.

i had an outoftouch feeling about this upcoming chemo.
i couldnt picture it inside my head.
i somehow knew it would not happen.
it didnt.
my white counts were not high enough to receive it.
that hardly mattered,
the 2 cancerous nodes have apparently become resistant against the chemo.
those nasty bastards.
dr. uppal recommends targeted radiation.
the thought of this makes me want to throw up in my mouth.
i really did not want this.

dr. miller and i had a chat.
we decided to transmute the death ray into a healing beam of pastel light.
that way i can do the radiation and it will be only helpful.
'be stupidly optimistic' he said. 'so much so that people think you are crazy.'

okay well game on there.

i have relented and decided to get the recommended CAT scan to determine the kidney stone size.
that way once its out we can hone in closer to what is causing my lower back pain.
(i do believe the stone been sitting there since late august).

tomorrow:
accupuncture at 8:45
appt w/ dr. bartolome at 10:15
appt w/ dr. lu 3:30pm
CAT scan at 5:30pm

if you want to surprise me with a litter of puppies i can roll in in between any of that
please please seek me out.

c.

oh and if you want to send chi or healing loveness please to make it positive in its intention
instead of angry or scared or dark. i would so very much appreciate.