you are just like a puppy
wanting to reach the
edges to be held in tight spaces.
pushing out with soon-to-grow tiny paws.
when you were on the inside you kicked
your inside legs out straight smashing
your heels into the walls of my inside flesh
I could see the outline of your heels
bunny kicking! when you were on the outside
and a little one sharing our bed
I recognized your synchronicity.
you performed a ballet of your own inception into my then fleshyfeminine body.
into papas too and he would get out of bed
and go sleep in your pale yellow baby room
unable to rest.
to me your jabs were a reminder of my once juicily luscious
belly
and loving you so good while you were still a part of me that way.
you jerked your legs out knees barely bent
pushing your soft underfeet
again into my bones and I knew you were feeling for stretchy pink walls,
seeking the edges of
comfort.
oslo seeks the edges too.
the nine week old pup wondering why his furflesh is not still
colliding
with that of his siblings as it so recently was.
(proof there is truth in the pack).
we find him squeezed in between two way-overstuffed black
garbage bags
full of clothes to be donated.
wedged just in between seeking the edges.
we find him curled up on a plastic mat in between pairs of rubber
boots and fastmelting snow.
then fluffily danced between his own stuffed doppelganger and the
couch
drinking comfort
inside little wild
puppy dreams.
I never wanted you to leave our bed.
so precious the time of silence and warm feathery skin.
your innocence in dreamtime.
any discomfort was abolished
by my unquenchable thirst
to stay close to you
as long as I could.
and now you are six years and three months old.
one of those numbers is even and one is odd.
you still bunny kick me in bed but I understand your
need
to meet the edges.
I smile inside myself contemplating your six year old heels
now hardened on being the warrior that you are.
your heels pummel my belly
and I smile inside myself.
because I know your subconscious yearns
for tight warm
spaces.
to be wrapped complete in child’s bliss.
you,
akin to a puppy seeking the edges.
while you sleep
and I am awake.
loving you with ferocity hazel.
.
.