one day post infusion 6 (the last).

i do lapse between updates. i do i do.

everyone askes me if i am so excited.
so happy to be finished with my chemotherapy.
done! done!
why do i not feel as excited at they do?
in the beginning i imagined i would.
i feel dull. in a cloudy haze of limbo.
will i feel better one i get my first CT scan in three weeks
and it comes back clean?
i think so.
i need therapy.
i am now being referred to the breast cancer and genetic counseling
divisions of the u of m oncology department.
to deal with the BRAC1 aspect of my heredity.
the part that now effects my breasts even though my uterus and ovaries are gone.
dr lui. will not see me for this new phase.
she will continue to see me for routine check ups.
she said that my CA125 has been such a good marker for me that
we can test it alone at return visits along with a physical exam
and hold off on more CT scans unless they become necessary.
currently my CA125 is 3!
that feels like good news.
i adore dr rebecca liu.
bari says i entertain her, amuse her, i am a happy challenge to her schedule.
i always make her laugh.
its nice.

what do you want to know?
ill write more later.