it was a dreamy asking.

when i asked that question.

a dreamy somewhere in my guts was raw

but mostly i was wondering how all this works

this time around.

wondering why people disappear,

specifically i suppose for all different reasons.

I did not mean to have the effect on some of you that i seeem to have had.

I was not seeking apologies in any way.

i know we are all full in our lives and i am too.

it was never all about me reguardless of my health.

i dont even have the emotional space to keep 

all the connections i once had in my life.

let me say that again-

I dont have the emotional space 

which is why to some of you i seem to have dissappeared. right?

i have.

i know.

i love people i am hardly in contact with.

like really really love people.

that is sad for me.

I did not mean to ask that you do anything different.

really i didn't,

though i see now it might have seemed that way.