down day.

dr. miller said i was one gallon low on water.
being in the car brought the moans.
chemo did bring discomfort to my body 
AND to my heart.
snake-like trying to crawl outside my body. trainspotting?
looking at condos today and getting closer to decisions that solidify the chancing time.
sitting against the wall with my head in my hands while stu asks all the right questions.
i feel melancholy.
sad for how things went that got us here.
to be making a space just for me and hazey.
the translucent curtains shifted and i let some mourning come out.
i keep ending up in places that i never thought i would.
over and over.
like really different places.
dr. miller says it will all make sense soon.
he's pretty magic so I'm going to hang on.
c.